Who Said It Would Be Easy?

Prologue

Summer came around far quicker than I had anticipated, and it was time to leave the lives we had created, behind. The last month was a blur of work, packing and online meetings with our new boss. The next school we would be teaching in was in Seoul, South Korea. I was both nervous and excited.

What I wasn’t looking forward to was the weeks in between leaving here and going to Korea. I had to return to Nice, to the past I left in the rear-view mirror. I had to face last year’s demons and their inevitable drama. I woke on our second last day glazed in a cold sweat. Time was running out.

My heart pounded in my chest, the pulse ricocheting off the mattress. How was I supposed to go back? My mind resembled the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, with thoughts racing like cars in ten different lanes. It was utter chaos.

I tried to focus on the present moment, but it only got worse. I sat on the edge of my bed, white knuckles gripping the covers below. I stayed in that state until the final wave of anxiousness passed over me, until the water settled and became calm. Until I could breathe in the surrounding oxygen without almost choking on my tears.

Attack number one was over, and I lived to tell the tale. I was fine. Everything was good. I would be ok. I could handle anything. I looked around and began to take in my surroundings.

There were clothes in various sized piles scattered across the oak floor. I didn’t even know where to begin with this part of the process. I had everything else neatly packed away except for my summer clothes. I knew once I placed them inside my suitcase that it was over.

My life here was over. And before I could start the new one, I had to jump back into my past. I had to face everything I had been hiding from and any pain I had left behind me might be waiting to consume me again.

I thought about my parents and how I hadn’t spoken to either of them in months. Just the few unenthusiastic back and forth remarks in the family group chat. That was the closest we had come to a conversation. They never asked about me or my life there. At first it really hurt me but as time went on, I learned (through weekly therapy sessions and my friends) that it wasn’t my fault.

It wasn’t because of anything I had done; it was because of them. Their issues, not mine. I tried giving packing another go, but I heard the girls chatting in the kitchen through the slight opening in the doorway. Olivia was scolding Molly for saying something totally inappropriate.

I couldn’t hear exactly what they were talking about, but it made me laugh. I wondered if we could live together for ever and I wondered if they wanted to. I loved our little family. I was happy. After I had picked up and put down the same pair of pants on the bed for the fourth time, I decided that I needed a break from overthinking. I wandered out into the living area.

“Hey honey. You’re up” Olivia smiled sweetly at me.

“Finally,” Molly sneered. Olivia glared at her.

Molly rolled her eyes. “What?”

“Coffee?” Olivia offered, ignoring our fiery friend.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to tea today. I’m a little wound up. Caffeine will only make it worse.”

“Good thing I made decaf” Olivia winked at me and handed me a cup. She must have known.

“What?” Molly spat a mouthful of her beverage into the sink. “Why would you make coffee without any caffeine in it? Are you crazy?” She started laughing, breaking character.

“You knew too?” I asked.

“Please.” Molly clicked her tongue. “I knew before she did.”

I pulled both of them into a hug. “What would I do without you?”

“Let’s hope you never have to find out” Molly joked.

I sat back on the stool. Grinning widely at them. They made me so happy. I may have mentioned that. Olivia finished her drink and without saying a word disappeared into her room, returning shortly after with a hairbrush. She pulled my hair down and gently brushed out the knots one by one.

“You tossed and turned all night, didn’t you? Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Then two of us wouldn’t have slept.” I sat with my eyes closed.

“Ami, your pain is my pain. Your worries are my worries. I thought you would have learned that by now. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. We are here for a reason.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better” I almost whispered.

“Stop apologising. You’re already doing so well.” Olivia wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. “Remember, you are loved.”

“Are you going to be ok going home on your own? All you need to do is say the word and I’ll happily move my flights up earlier and come back with you?”

“Molly, you need to face your family at some stage.”

“I know. I am running out of pocket money”. She tried to make a joke of her situation, but we all knew why Molly didn’t want to go home. She had left a huge mess behind her when she left.

She had been having an affair with a married man who happened to be in business with her father. The Manhattan elite were a scary bunch of people. His wife had figured it out weeks before it came to light and had been building her ammunition and gathering as much information on Molly and the rest of the Parker family, as she could.

Her father eventually found out, when the man’s wife tried blackmailing them. He strongly suggested that she get as far away from New York as possible and arranged for her to work for his London office. Molly spent the weekend in London before packing her things and heading for Tokyo where we all met last year.

She had decided that she wanted a whole new life. Olivia, on the other hand, was the only one of us that was on somewhat good terms with her parents. Her mom and her stepfather that is. Her actual father left them when she was a baby. Olivia’s mother met him when she was travelling around southeast Asia and they had a very complicated relationship from what I can gather.

Olivia didn’t like to talk about it, and we never pushed her to. We knew only that he lived in Korea with his new family and that he had not seen Olivia and her older sister since he left them.

She wanted to move there and learn more about her Korean heritage without actually having to meet the man that abandoned her.

When Olivia told us what she was planning to do, we immediately asked if we could come with her. Five months and a day later we had jobs and an apartment organised, in a city none of us had never even visited before. A city that come the end of August, would be ours for the foreseeable future.

Molly and I would stay as long as our friend needed us to and maybe in the meantime, we would both figure out if home was where the heart was or just where our families resided.

The morning drifted into the afternoon, and I still hadn’t dealt with my list of things to do. Molly and Olivia had spent the last two hours busily moving around the apartment. I had sat in the same place for almost the entire time, stuck in an internal battle with my brain.

I imagined every single scenario of how I thought things would go with my mother and my father. I had built up quite an extensive defence plan against any and all possible attacks.

This made me feel terrible and eventually I broke down. My sadness crippling me into a foetal position on the floor.

Molly found me crying on a pile of denim.

“Amelia, What the fuck are you doing?”.

“Panicking.” I sobbed.

She softened.

“Babe, if you needed help, you should have said so. This is what live for”

The truth is, I was afraid to ask Molly for help because she would make me throw out most of my clothes, but she loved organising and I was completely overwhelmed so I let her help me.

I watched her pick up and fold the clothes I was previously lying on. She examined each piece, grimacing at certain things. She held my Balenciaga denim jacket in front of her face.

“Amelia. Honey. Do you really need this?” She peered out over the shoulder of the jacket. I snapped it out of her hands

“Yes. My sister got it for me. I like it.”

She dramatically rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll keep my opinions to myself.” She looked disgusted.

"Yeah. You might want to tell that to your face."

"I'm sorry, you know I'm not one to judge."

"Yeah, that's because you can't. You've had posters of K-pop groups all over your bedroom walls. You can't judge her at all." Olivia entered the room and handed her a glass of wine to soften the blow. Molly aways got super embarrassed if we mentioned her room decor. I wasn’t really sure why. It never bothered her when she brought men home.

“Bitches.” She muttered into her glass before taking a big swig.

“Christ.” Olivia took in the pile of clothes that remained untouched on the hardwood floor. “We’ve our work cut out for us”. She rolled up her non-existent sleeves and got stuck in to mess before her. It didn’t take the three of us very long to put what was remaining into my suitcases, leaving an outfit for that night, the next day, and my clothes to travel in. Once we were officially done, Molly and Olivia flopped onto the couch.

Hurriedly, I refilled our empty glasses from the fridge and returned with our refreshments. Taking a seat on the carpet, I faced my jaded friends, sitting cross-legged.

"I could sleep now," Olivia struggled to say through a yawn.

"No. No one is sleeping. We need to be dressed and ready downstairs in two and a half hours," Molly exclaimed, her horror evident.

"When are you going to tell us where we're going?" Olivia asked, her curiosity palpable.

“Why can’t it just be a surprise? Why do you have to know everything?” Molly sighed, her frustration apparent.

I exchanged glances with Olivia, silently acknowledging her excitement.

"Ok, fine. I’ll lie down for thirty minutes and start getting ready then," Olivia agreed, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Molly's eyes widened, and it seemed like steam was almost rising from her forehead. "Olivia, you take the longest in the shower!" she growled, her annoyance evident.

This only made Olivia smile even wider. She seemed to relish raising Molly’s blood pressure, and I couldn't help but think it was a miracle they hadn't killed each other by now. It was about time I intervened.

"Olivia, do as you’re told for once and get yourself in the shower now. Molly has an elaborate evening planned for us, and we need to be respectful and ready on time," I instructed firmly, trying to maintain the peace.

Molly looked pleased at first, until she realized I said "extensive." Her smile was short-lived, as she contemplated arguing my choice of words, but didn’t, knowing it would only delay Olivia even further.

An hour or so later, the sun began to set, casting a warm, golden hue over our bustling apartment. Molly, her red hair gleaming in the dwindling light, twirled around the room, clutching a set of lavish designer outfits.

"Okay, ladies, tonight is our last hurrah in Tokyo. Let's make it one for the books!" Her green eyes shimmered with excitement as she handed me a shimmering dress and turned to Olivia. "Liv, you have to try this one. It's perfect for you!"

Olivia raised an eyebrow, inspecting the dress with a sceptical look.

"I don't know, Molly. It's a bit revealing, don't you think?" Her soft voice held a note of hesitation, contrasting with Molly's unrestrained enthusiasm.

Molly chuckled, unfazed by Olivia's reservations.

"Oh, come on, Liv, live a little! This is our last night. We're going to look absolutely fabulous!" She gestured toward the wardrobe, her tone coaxing yet insistent.

I couldn't help but grin, caught in the whirlwind of Molly's infectious energy. "Liv, come on! You were given that body for a reason!"

With a resigned sigh, Olivia relented, slipping into the sleek Versace dress. The smooth fabric accentuated her graceful figure, the intricate design lending an air of effortless elegance.

"Fine, but you owe me one," she teased, a playful glint in her cat-like brown eyes.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, we made our way downstairs, where our chauffeured car service awaited us. The polished vehicle exuded an air of luxury, transporting us to our first stop, our original apartment in Tokyo.

A bottle of exquisite Dom Pérignon awaited us, a tribute to the memories we had woven within those familiar walls.

Seated on the steps outside, our laughter rang through the night as we reminisced about the late-night conversations, the shared dreams, and the countless moments that had transformed the apartment into a sanctuary of laughter and friendship.

The night beckoned us onward, leading us to the New York Bar at the Park Hyatt Tokyo, where the vibrant city lights painted a mesmerizing backdrop. Sipping on meticulously crafted cocktails, we regaled each other with tales of our most exhilarating escapades, the music enveloping us in a symphony of nostalgia and anticipation.

Following our drinks, we found ourselves at the renowned Sukiyabashi Jiro, where the flavours of authentic Japanese cuisine danced upon our taste buds. Each morsel unfolded like a symphony, orchestrated by the skilled hands of the masterful chefs, leaving us spellbound and craving more.

Molly, her charisma in full force, then guided us to an opulent estate on the outskirts of the city, the residence of one of her father's esteemed associates. "Girls, I've got a surprise for you," she announced, her voice laced with excitement as the revelation unfolded. "The apartment you thought we were renting. Was actually a gift from this amazing man. He's been our secret benefactor all along! Ladies, allow me to introduce a dear friend of my father’s, Mr. Ichiro Yamaguchi," Molly announced, her voice filled with awe and gratitude.

Olivia and I exchanged puzzled glances, slowly comprehending that we had been paying rent without actually renting the apartment.

“What you paid me each month was returned to you this morning. In full” Mr Yamaguchi assured us with a dazzling smile.

"But why didn't you tell us, Molly?" Olivia said through a forced smile. Her voice was tinged with a mix of bewilderment and gratitude.

Molly smiled softly, her eyes gleaming with affection.

"I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn't want you to worry about anything. Let's talk about it tomorrow. Tonight, let's just celebrate!"

We didn’t stay at the house for long; it became evident that our short dresses were a stark deviation from the event's dress code. The disapproving glances from the older women attending the party added to our discomfort. After struggling through numerous awkward conversations in broken Japanese, we decided it was time to leave. Our next stop was the pulsating heart of Tokyo's nightlife: Womb Tokyo.

With VIP access and premium bottle service, we surrendered ourselves to the pulsing rhythm of the club, our laughter harmonizing with the electrifying beats that reverberated through the air.

Amidst the vibrant music, we encountered a group of jubilant Japanese men celebrating a thirtieth birthday who joined us for a while. Their infectious energy led us to a nearby karaoke bar, where we passionately sang along to an eclectic mix of tunes. Molly, in particular, nearly lost her voice to her favourite K-pop hits, her enthusiasm filling the air. However, as she delved into the rap section, the men gracefully departed, seemingly overwhelmed by Molly’s spirited performances.

As the night waned into early morning, we stumbled into Gonpachi Nishi-Azabu, enticed by the promise of satiating comfort food. Sake flowed freely, our laughter intermingling with the clinking of glasses, weaving an indelible tapestry of shared moments and genuine friendhip.

Finally, as the first tendrils of dawn painted the sky in hues of pink and gold, we found ourselves back at our apartment, huddled together on the balcony. Blankets wrapped around us, we watched the sun rise, the horizon ablaze with memories of a night that would linger in our hearts forever.

"Remember that time when we first moved in here, and we had no idea what we were doing?" I mused; my voice laced with nostalgia.

"Oh, how could I forget! We were a hot mess," Molly giggled, her eyes reflecting the fading hues of the night sky.

"But look at us now. We've made it through together."

Olivia nodded; her gaze fixed on the emerging sunlight.

"Here's to the memories we've made and the adventures yet to come," she murmured, her voice carrying the weight of a year's worth of experiences.

As the sun ascended, casting its gentle glow over our tired yet contented faces, I sat back and watched my friends laughing, my heart was full.

Amidst the intoxication and in the presence of their company, it dawned on me that this was all I had ever needed. Yes, we were inebriated, but as we watched the sunrise together, I found solace in the realization that being with these two kindred spirits was a powerful affirmation. In their companionship, I felt truly loved and deserving of love. They found me, broken, and living life on my hands and knees, and they graciously offered me a sanctuary, a place I could always find solace in. Not once did they cast judgment; instead, they held me close in my lowest moments and imparted the profound lesson of unwavering affection.

Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I bid farewell to the former version of myself, whose struggles had finally ceased. I will forever hold her in my heart, cherishing her resilience, and express gratitude for her perseverance, which paved the way for the emergence of this new self.

A self that now finds solace in laughter-tinged tears, that fosters love over resentment, that bravely stands tall instead of cowering, that nurtures aspirations rather than being consumed by fears, that refuses to allow any man to diminish her worth, and that no longer seeks validation from those incapable of loving themselves.

I had these women, my newfound pillars of strength, and I had myself. It was then that I realized there was no need to fear returning home. I would manage regardless of the challenges the future might throw at me. I had grown strong enough to face anything.

We lingered outdoors until the sun had settled in the sky, then stumbled back to bed sometime around seven in the morning. I slipped into a deep sleep and didn't wake again until the movers arrived at two to collect our boxes. Standing in our nearly empty apartment, we embraced the stillness. Olivia, as usual, was the first to break the silence.

"I can't fucking believe we weren't paying rent all this time. Why didn't you just tell us?" she exclaimed, her frustration evident.

"I knew you'd appreciate the lump sum at the end of the year. If we had it each month, it would've been spent anyhow," Molly explained, her reasoning sound.

I couldn't argue with her logic; it made perfect sense. I felt grateful for the extra cash as we prepared to head back home.

"I just can't believe I didn't figure it out. I'm losing my touch," Olivia sighed, her disappointment noticeable.

"Should we take one more stroll around the neighbourhood before we leave?" I suggested, trying to redirect the conversation.

"I love that idea, Ami. Molly can buy us a coffee. It's the least she can do," Olivia teased, elbowing me playfully.

"How many times have I apologized already?" Molly spat.

I walked to the shoe closet and grabbed my sneakers as they continued to bicker in the hallway.

"Hurry up!" I called out, urging them along.

They followed my lead, and we embarked on one final walk around the block, stopping to get coffee from our favourite old man at his cafe. He was on the phone as we entered, his face lighting up when he saw us.

"My girls are here. I've got to go," he said in English, cutting off the person on the other end.

“Haruki San.” Olivia trotted towards him.

“I thought you weren’t going to say goodbye. For an old man like me, goodbyes are important. You never know when it will be your last”

Molly burst into tears surprising us all. She hardly ever cried.

“Of course, we would come to see you before we leave.” I interjected. “We wanted one more coffee for the road.”

"No coffee today, girls," he replied, his expression inscrutable, leaving us unsure whether he was joking or not. A brief silence ensued, casting a slightly awkward atmosphere. He vanished into the back and reemerged moments later, holding a gleaming black bottle.

"I prepared umeshu for you, waiting for the perfect moment to share it with you all. Unfortunately, today might be our last opportunity," he explained, his tone tinged with a hint of wistfulness.

"We promise to come back to visit," Molly reassured him.

"I know Amelia will return, but she won't be with you two," he remarked, playfully wagging his finger at Molly and Olivia. "As for seeing you two again soon, it remains uncertain."

Such moments often left us contemplating whether he was genuinely connected to the spiritual world or slowly losing touch with reality.

"But mark my words, Amelia will return, and not long after she has fallen in love." I couldn't help but laugh at the seemingly absurd prediction. The idea of a romantic relationship was the farthest thing from my mind at that moment.

Olivia picked up the bottle of plum liquor and poured it into each of our glasses, starting with Mr. Haruki’s. He raised his cup to his lips, and we followed suit. Extending his cup for a refill, we followed his lead once again. The alcohol was possibly the most potent concoction I had ever tasted, its fumes making my eyes water.

"Thank you for indulging an old man, and for the English lessons and the lengthy conversations. You made my life a little brighter for a time," he said softly.

Molly stifled a gentle sob. I held back my tears for as long as I could. He embraced each one of us, leaving me until last. Peering into my eyes, he spoke as though he understood every one of my thoughts, just as he had when we first met.

"You will be fine. I'm not worried about you. I foresee one more challenging period, followed by lifelong happiness. Please don't fret. You won't be alone," he assured me with unwavering conviction.

"I hope so, Haruki San. If what you say is true, then I guess I'll be seeing you soon."

"I'll be expecting you in winter," he replied with a gentle smile.

Glancing at Molly and Olivia, I searched for an appropriate response, but their expressions mirrored my confusion.

"Looking forward to it," I murmured softly. He squeezed my hand three times.

"You must go. Goodbye for now, ladies. Thank you for everything," he said, bowing gracefully. We reciprocated the gesture before departing without uttering another word. Glancing back once, I couldn't help but ponder whether his words held truth or mere pity for the lonely Irish girl.

When we were finally out of earshot, Molly broke the silence, "If either of you tell anyone that I cried, I will deny it."

"Don't worry, Molly. I'm just glad you're able to. It means you're not actually a robot," Olivia replied. I think she was attempting to lighten the mood.

"I apologize for not being the 'hippy dippy, embrace my emotions' type. We can't all be tree huggers," Molly retorted.

"Guys, please stop. No more bickering today. I don't have the head for it," I interjected, feeling drained.

"We're kidding. Relax," Olivia reassured, attempting to ease the tension.

Just as Molly finished speaking, a black van pulled up outside the apartment. The well-dressed man from the night before stepped out.

"Hello, ladies. I'm here to take you to the airport. Can I assist with your luggage?" he inquired, craning his neck around. "Where is it located, exactly?"

Olivia glanced at her watch; it read 4:55 p.m.

"Sorry, we lost track of time. We'll bring it down now," she replied.

"It's no problem. Can I help you bring it down?" he offered.

"Sure, that would be great. Please follow me," Molly accepted before Olivia and I could politely decline.

I wasn't sure how the petite guy would manage Molly's bulky suitcases, but he somehow handled them. I noticed him wiping sweat from his brow several times. In less than ten minutes, the car was loaded, and it was time to bid farewell. We lingered in the empty apartment, taking one last glimpse of the place we had called home. Tears began their silent descent down my cheeks. I would miss this place.

"Don't be sad, Ami. Imagine the memories we'll make in the next one. It might not be as lovely as this place, but we'll make it a home in no time," Olivia reassured me, clutching my hand in hers. "Let's go."

We walked hand in hand to where the car was waiting. I looked back just once as we drove to Haneda airport, our final stop before departing. My destination was Nice, Molly's was New York, and Olivia was bound for Auckland. They planned to spend some time with their families before joining me in Nice for the rest of the summer. From there, we would fly to Seoul.

I remember seeing the bustling streets of Roppongi, with its neon-lit buildings and the faint aroma of street food lingering in the air as we set out for Haneda airport. The sleek highways whisked me away, past Tokyo Tower and the shimmering waters of Tokyo Bay, the city lights slowly giving way to the serene darkness of the night. As we approached Haneda, the anticipation of the journey ahead mingled with the bittersweet farewell to the vibrant chaos of Tokyo, leaving me with a sense of both excitement and nostalgia.

By the time we reached the airport, my head was throbbing. When I mentioned it to Molly, she promptly handed me a sleeve of tablets from her handbag.

"What are they?" I examined the sleeve cautiously.

"Painkillers. I got them from the doctor last week. They're strong, so take one now and another later if you need it," Molly explained.

I swallowed a pill without water; the pain was too intense to wait.

After checking in individually and passing through security, we headed for a drink. Thanks to Molly's dad, we were granted access to an executive lounge within the airport. With our flights scheduled within two hours of each other, we grabbed some food and savoured one final gin and tonic in Tokyo.

The pre-flight atmosphere was remarkably serene, and I felt unexpectedly relaxed. Life seemed incredibly great at that moment. When my boarding call came, I reluctantly bid farewell to my two favourite people.

As I settled into my seat on the first of two flights, an overwhelming drowsiness enveloped me. My eyelids grew increasingly heavier. I checked my phone one last time before succumbing to sleep. There was a single message from Molly.

"Hey babe, I’ve made a huge mistake. It seems I gave you the wrong pill packet. I thought they were painkillers, but they turned out to be Valium. I just asked a stewardess. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me, and please don't overdose. On the bright side, you'll have an amazing sleep."

Despite the realization that my friend had accidentally drugged me, I was too fatigued to feel annoyed. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a tranquil state, awakening only when the plane's tires touched the tarmac in Paris. One more short flight remained before I would arrive in Nice, and I could already sense turbulence looming ahead.